That's not a Gravios! (Wrong Target)
by missingfailures
Summary: Four hunters get lost and accidentally fix a major problem.


**A/N: **This was first published on AO3 February 8th 2016. This is super dumb, you have been warned.

* * *

Today was a day like any other day for the monster hunters, get a quest, complete the objective and reap the rewards (Optional; rage against the heavens for not getting a gem).

Inside the Gathering Hall four hunters sat, each ordered a meal and devoured it in less than an instant. One hunter was wearing the Miralis armor, his weapon being the Demolition Switch Axe. The second a full Excello Z set, with his weapon being an Insect Glaive with the blast element. The third wore the Artian S set, his weapon the Cera Symmetry - a powerful Greatsword. Lastly, the fourth was a gunner, clad in the gunner Kujula armor, wielded the Gravios Gigacannon.

"Alright, so what are we hunting?" The Excello hunter asked.

The Miralis hunter thought for a moment, then suggested "You guys up for a Gravios expedition?" His partners gave different variations of assent.

"Sure." Excello replied.

"Yeah." Artian answered.

"Eh, why not?" said Kujula.

Miralis nodded, "Okay, let me get the quest, get your stuff ready." He got up and walked toward the quest counter. His partners headed to the blue chest and procured from it several items of value and varying size before somehow storing all of it in their pouches. Then they headed towards the quest board and accepted the quest Miralis had set up.

"Shame we have to walk ALL the way." Excello lamented with a groan.

Miralis gave a chuckle. "Don't worry, I got a shortcut. We just need to find a Plesioth first."

_(Later, at Cheeko sands…)_

"Miralis, I see one, on your left." Kujula notified, pointing towards the Piscine wyvern.

"Good, grab your Bowgun and shoot a paintball at it." Miralis ordered.

Kujula gave Miralis a quizzical gaze, but acquiesced. He readied his weapon and fired at the Plesioth, the projectile harmlessly splattered across the wyvern's scaly hide. Angered by the sudden attack, it quickly surfaced and snarled angrily, keeping its eyes on its aggressors as it turned to the side and reared back.

"Get ready." Miralis warned as he tensed up.

"For what?" The others all said at once.

**"HIP-"**

The Plesioth struck, despite being at least 20 meters away.

**"-CHECK!"**

For a moment the hunters froze, then they were sent flying off in an arc at blinding speed.

_"Oh, right.. forgot about that."_ Kujula thought to himself before blacking out.

When Kujula regained consciousness, he immediately became aware of his partners laying down near him in various poses, and the excruciating pain that enveloped his entire body. He fought through the pain and used a dust of life, the hunter let out a sigh of relief as he felt his strength coming back and the pain fading away

One by one the hunters got to their feet. "I've got some bad news. I think that was a Green Plesioth" Miralis grunted. "We might have gone a bit too far, but I got some psychoserum, so finding that Gravios should be no problem." He promptly drank said psychoserum.

"Yeah, but have you seen where we are? Looks like some… ruins, or castle, in the middle of nowhere." Artian pointed out.

"It's probably just another part of the Everwood we haven't discovered yet." Excello suggested, "Place's an absolute mess of a maze, I swear the damn thing just reshapes itself every visit.

"We'll probably find some rarer resources and whatnot. Anyway, the monster is that way, follow me." Miralis motioned his partners to follow him.

For a while they walked blindly through the landscape, eventually arriving at their destination.

"Get ready, that Gravios is nearby." Kujula said.

"You mean that thing?" Artian responded, pointing to the giant monster in the distance.

The hunters approached the beast and took cover behind boulders. They peeked from their hiding spot and observed it.

The wyvern was enormous, bigger than a Gogmazios at the very least. It had a long neck, and a large jaw holding what appeared to be an orb encrusted with many eyes inside. It boasted large muscular arms alongside enormous wings. Lastly, it appeared to be harassing a group of ragtag individuals.

"Uh... are you sure that's a Gravios?" Excello whispered.

"Absolutely, you see that thing's head? Totally a Gravios." Miralis answered confidently.

"I mean, it's way bigger than normal and looks pretty different." Excello argued.

Mirakis let out an exasperated sigh, "Look, worst case scenario it's a monster the guild hasn't found yet, if we bring back evidence, imagine how much zennys we'll get!" He said eagerly.

"If that's the case are we just going to stand here talking or actually get work done and fight this thing!?" An irritated Artian complained. "LETS GO!"

Miralis, Artian and Excello left their cover and ran straight to their foe while Kujula readied his bowgun and opened fire, having climbed up and taken position on a pillar. Miralis threw a flash bomb, quite frankly not giving a damn about the group of people he assumed to be wannabe hunters.

The projectile detonated and created a blinding light. Deprived of its sight, the monster roared and swung its arms in a blind guess of their locations. The hunters took advantage of this and focused on harming the beasts' legs.

Miralis saw the group approach them again. Annoyed, he sheathed his weapon then left his companions and walked towards the strangers whereupon he pushed away the one with the one with white hair clad in white armor, who he assumed to be their leader. "Nonononono, you all just sit back right here alright? We got this." Miralis demanded in a somewhat patronizing manner.

"But-"

Realizing the man would persist and waste his time, Miralis decided to make it as clear as it could be that it was a demand and not a suggestion. Grabbing the man by the collar, Miralis abruptly yanked him forward. The man's head collided with his helmet and he winced in discomfort. "Regrettably, I find that I must... _insist_. Stand. Back. **Now**." Miralis growled, voice low and guttural. "We're the experts here, and we wouldn't want to have some rookie risk their lives against such a monster now, would we?" He threatened, completely unaware of Excello being pinned.

_"IT'S CRUSHING ME HELP HELP HELP!"_

_"DUNG BOMB INCOMING!"_

Miralis jutted his head to his partners, then back to the strangers. He brusquely shoved the scared man away with a snarl, "Don't make me repeat myself again." He said as he wheeled about and rushed towards the wyvern. He shared a glance with Excello who, thanks to Artian throwing a dung bomb, managed to free himself before swinging his switch axe upward and launching him sky-high.

"MOUNT IT!" He yelled.

"ALREADY ON IT!" Was his answer.

The next thing Miralis knew Excello was riding the not-Gravios, which was struggling to be rid of the pest mounting it with great enthusiasm.

"Je suis monté!" Excello chanted, earning a chorus of groans from the others.

"You're not one of them!" Kujula shouted.

The wyvern stopped momentarily to catch its breath, Excello seized on the opportunity and repeatedly plunged his knife into the Gravios' armor, watching in delight as the green bar filled up to the max. The wyvern collapsed to its sides with a roar, he sent his kinsect to grab some essence and rushed toward the tail, glad to see his friends were already working hard on cutting it, he joined them in hacking and slashing the limb, their blades falling and rising at a remarkable speed. It was a mild surprise to them when they managed to sever the tail tip in a single cycle, their opponent being more or less launched by severance of said tail was not however.

In an instant, they all did what could easily be considered the classic blunder: sheathing your weapon and carving the tail without a care in the world.

"I got an... Anankos Flail?" Excello said, confused.

"Anankos Flail," Miralis said.

"I got Silent Dragon's Abyssgem, " was Artian's proud answer.

"Got a tai- LOOK OUT!" Kujula shouted.

The hunters became aware of Anankos charging straight ahead, they leapt aside barely avoiding a painful end.

Kujula climbed to a vantage point and readied his Bowgun. "FIRING SLEEP SHOTS!"

Steadying his aim he pulled the trigger. A volley of shots struck Anankos and administered the sedative contained within each casing, his movements became slow and lethargic with each bullet that struck true. The Dragon managed to utter a pitiful roar before falling into a deep slumber.

Kujula sheathed his Bowgun and ran toward the head, his partners were already there, sharpening their weapons and/or taking might seeds and drinking potions.

Simultaneously, they somehow procured two large barrels filled with explosives from their pouches and placed them near their prey's head.

"Firework imminent!" Miralis said eagerly.

"Setting up the bomb!" Excello replied with enthusiasm.

"Wake up call!" Artian continued.

"This is going to be good." Said Kujula.

The hunters stood back as Kujula prepared to shoot one of the barrels but was interrupted when Excello pushed him aside.

"This is taking too long let me do it." He grumbled.

Excello approached the barrel bombs and sighed, then gave one a swift kick.

Miralis was certain he heard the rookies gasp. "What, they haven't manually detonated a bomb before?" He thought.

The resulting explosion was powerful enough to blast Excello at Miralis, who merely stepped to the side and dodged the human projectile.

Their target however, roared in pain, his slumber brusquely interrupted in a brutal manner.

* * *

Corrin simply gazed in abject confusion at the four strangers currently busy cutting parts of Anankos's body. In what had felt like a second, his careful and well thought battle plan had been interrupted and turned obsolete as the knights blinded Anankos, knocked him on the ground, severed his tail, then bombed him and proceeded to utterly wipe the floor with him. Any injuries they suffered were quite simply shrugged off by drinking some strange liquid then flexing.

He and everyone else DID try to help, only to be... _advised_ not to by the one wearing the armor that had an odd resemblance to a volcano.

"Well, we killed this thing, so... how do we go back to the guild now?" The hunter in bright red armor asked.

"Find the nearest beach." The hunter with the volcanic armor answered.

"Can that wait a bit? My back still hurts." The one with the rusted armor whined.

"Since we'll be here a while, guess we should ask for direction or something." The one in the strange armor argued.

Corrin carefully approached the hunters then cleared his throat, the volcanic hunter turned to him and greeted him with a nonchalant "Hey, do you mind answering a few questions?"

Corrin thought for a moment, then nodded.

"Where exactly are we?"

"You're in Valla, the Invisible Kingdom."

"That's a long way from home. Anyway what did we just kill?"

"...That was Anankos, the Silent Dragon."

"...Was he important?"

"In his madness, he made it his goal to destroy all of humanity."

"So not much different than your run-of-the-mill Elder Dragon. Where's the nearest beach?"

"Very far away." Corrin answered bluntly. "Now, could you answer some of my mine?"

"Yeah sure, go ahead."

"Who are you people?"

"We're monster hunters!"

"What?"

"It's in the name. _mon-ster, hun-ters_, we hunt monsters, pretty self explanatory."

"Why did you slay Anankos?"

"Eh, nothing much, we just got him mixed up for something else we had to kill."

Corrin frowned, incredulous. "What... do you plan on doing now?"

"Well, probably find the nearest village, craft some armor from his remains then kick our legs back and rest."

"Since we'll be here for some time, you guys mind if we… stay at your place for a while?" The rusted hunter asked.

"Er… I suppose you could?" Corrin answered unsurely._ "They just killed Anankos, the Silent Dragon of Valla without breaking a sweat. All of that JUST because they mistook him for something else?! Now they wish to stay at my castle?"_

_(At least a week later.)_

"See that giant fish with two legs? That's a Plesioth, our ticket back to the guild." Miralis said. "I'm glad you agreed to follow us back home, and who knows? Maybe you could even become hunters like us."

"I'm going to get its attention." Kujula stated. He fired a shot at the Plesioth which surfaced, angered.

"I hate this part." Artian grumbled.

"Why is that?" Corrin asked for what felt like the umpteenth time.

**"HIP-"**

Excruciating pain.

**"CHECK!"**


End file.
